If any of my local car dealers cared to look at their
surveillance camera footage on a Monday morning they would find my shadowy
figure skulking around their lots. I enjoy
haunting car dealerships on a Sunday morning; it’s a guilty pleasure like
sneaking into a cave to poke a bear. I acquired
this habit at a young age from my father. There were many Sundays when I’d
climb on the back of Dad's Honda 305 Scrambler or in the cab of the rusted 1972 Chevy
pickup and we’d travel to the next town to walk among rows of gleaming chariots in their virgin state. My
father is the only man I know who’s been in a perpetual state of sticker shock
since the late 70’s. He still makes the same noises today as he did back then, “Can
you believe what they’re asking for these things?” as if the cars themselves
had their hands out like beggars in the street. I think he’s on a hopeless
quest to find a new car priced under $100.00.
Last Sunday I repeated this ritual but this time I thought I’d
take you along. Besides I have a new camera and wanted to use every cheesy photography gimmick in the book.
 |
|
The first stop is the Ford store. Although I’m an equal opportunity
car nut I have always been partial to the blue oval brand. I don’t know if it’s
the home team syndrome or that my first love was a Mustang but Ford has also
had a bit of an international flair. I like the Mazda influence in the Fordzda
days of the 1990’s to the German and Australian Capris and the unloved Merkurs.
|
 |
|
This guy had about thirty Foci on the lot but only one stick
shift that I could find. Are there that many people who hate to drive? The new
Focus would be on my short list if I ever decided to buy new. I think a
hatchback, manual transmission in blue would do it.
He also had a substantial row of 2012 Fusions and Escapes in an effort to clear out the old models before the new versions of both cars arrive shortly.
Only one Fiesta on the lot, which is a bad sign for the
littlest Ford. I would hate to see Ford drop it’s B segment car. They’re decent
little runabouts and I was hoping the U.S. would get the turbo ST version.
|
 |
|
I always have to stop at this little used car lot when I’m haunting.
He only has about eight to ten cars at a time but there’s always something
unusual. A few months ago it was an Opel GT and now it’s a Pontiac Fiero. GM’s
small sports cars are always a study in disappointment. I can just hear the planning meeting for the
Fiero, “Hey let’s do a small sports car!” “Sounds great!” “Let’s make it mid-engined.”
“Sounds even better!” “Let’s make the body out of space aged, light weight polymers.”
“Now you’re talking!” “And lets power it with a heavy, slow, coarse small truck
engine!” “I wonder if Toyota is hiring?”
In 1988, the Fiero’s final production year, Pontiac had
improved the car’s suspension, steering, brakes and both the 4 cylinder and V6
engines, then promptly killed it, just as it was getting good. It’s like someone
getting a face lift and boob job on their death bed.
|
 |
|
Across the street from Pontiac’s plastic fantastic is a
used lot that sells nothing but V-Dubs. You got to admire a guy who can stick
to one thing. He’s probably been married to the same woman, lives in his first
house and eats the same breakfast every morning. These one trick ponies limit their
customer base but they do become brand experts and usually have loyal clients.
|
 |
|
Love them or hate them Hyundai has been on a roll lately.
They’ve got the trifecta of style, quality and price going and they don’t show
signs of slowing down. I like the Elantra wagon but there are two other
offerings in their lineup that intrigue me more, see below.
|
 |
|
The Genesis Coupe, 274 HP turbo 4cyl or a 348 HP V6, rear
wheel drive and starting price in the mid-twenty thousand range, what’s not to
love except those stupid fake hood scoops? If you would have told me that the
company that made the original Excel, a car so bad most people would admit to
being a Nazi sympathizer before admitting to owning one, now makes a car like this, I would have never
believed it. The competition should be very afraid.
|
 |
|
The Veloster, a small stylish coupe with three doors like
the old Saturn coupes and a starting price under $17,000; these are all good points
but the same 138 HP engine as the Accent hatchback with 200 more pounds to haul around
is not so good. I would yield to performance over style and go with the lighter
Accent. The 200 HP turbo Veloster, however, could woo me with both style and
speed.
|
 |
|
My wife Ginger falling for a 2.0L turbo charged VW Jetta with 6-speed
manual. Being married to a gear head is great except there’s no one to say no
to the next acquisition. The only thing
that would make this car sweeter is if it was a station wagon.
|
Next Sunday may find my murky image on the security cameras
of the Mazda and Subaru stores.
Marve Harwell ©
Comments